Friday, November 21, 2003

Big in ’03, a recap

I took Deidre to the taping of the VH1 Big in ‘O3 Awards last night at the Universal Amphitheater for her birthday. First off, we had to get to the Universal Amp by 7:45pm otherwise, we weren’t getting in. Seems like an easy task when you get off of work at 6pm, right? Wrong. In LA, where distance is measured in time rather than miles, I actually came close to not making it in time for the 7:45 cut off. And it’s not like my office is that far away! Good Lord.

This is the second annual Big in ‘03, and thank goodness they decided to have yet another award show because there really isn’t enough. I mean the last one was only this past Sunday (AMA’s). I guess since they aren’t airing it until Nov. 30th, they can get away with Kid Rock singing the same song he did for the AMA’s. And though Kid Rock kind of leaves me cold, last night he set the stage on fire. No really, the stage caught fire. I was watching the show and just as I was thinking to myself that his pyrotechnics looked strangely like the ones from the footage of the Great White incident, I noticed a man rush to the side of the stage with a fire extinguisher and put out a fire that started on the left side of Kid’s set-up. Have we learned nothing?

The awards themselves were kind of amusing. The first one was for best Gay something or other. Five guesses who won that one. (Get it… Fab 5?) I won’t spoil any others for you because I know you will have to sit through this show every day for the next year thanks to the VH1 re-run policy, but I will give you some brief commentary.

Liza Minnelli was there, which is surprising considering her past tumultuous relationship with Vh1.

P Diddy and Ashton Kutcher: Would these two EVER be friends if they weren’t famous? P Diddy, I respect your running thing, and Ashton I respect that you’re a looker, but otherwise, please go away.

Nikki Hilton: A poor man’s Paris. While she was introducing the Breakout Star of ’03, her line went something like this: “One second no one knows them, and the next there are everywhere.” Some ya hoo in the crowd took this opportunity to scream, “Like your sister!” and the entire Amphitheatre started cheering and laughing. Poor Nikki had to go on like she didn’t hear it. I almost felt sorry for her.

Shania Twain performed. Does anyone care?

Matchbox 20 also performed. Um, I don’t care.

Dear Outkast: Thank you for making me excited that I went to this fiasco last night. As soon as they took the stage, EVERYONE jumped out of their seats, starting shaking it like a (I’m not going to finish that lyric), and having a good time. I was tired and cranky, but as soon as Outkast was announced, I instantly had this goofy smile on my face like Santa Claus was about to come out on stage.

And let me just go on a little bit about the whole reality television thing. They brought out every reality television cast member of the past year and let us all know how silly we are getting about this whole thing by making them all stand on stage at once. These are our new celebrities? Let’s snap out of it. But of course, Deidre was so excited to be sitting in front of the cast of Paradise Hotel, she almost wet herself.

That’s it. I’m having a party tonight at my house. Please pray my toilet doesn’t get set on fire this time.