Monday, November 24, 2003

I hate dating.

I wake up this morning to find out that my stereo, heater, and power windows are not working in my car. My break light is also on. Awesome. I should have taken it as an omen and gone back to bed.
I had a lunch date today with a guy I met once a week ago for five minutes in a bar. This is why I don’t frequent bars unless it is to see bands. I meet random people that I have nothing in common with, and wind up on these dates that have no promise of turning into anything except for a long, drawn-out nuisances. I meet him at lunch since 1) I don’t really remember meeting him since it was the night out with Matthew, where we were over-served and under fed, 2) dating during your lunch hour gives you a great excuse to leave after only an hour, and finally 3) everything is safer during the daytime.
So I meet Mr. X across the street from my office, and we decide to go to Houston’s for lunch. I notice he talks extremely fast, as if he is a speed freak, but I have a feeling he’s never been in the presence of drugs in his life. He follows his unintelligible jabbering with hysterical laughter. At least I’m cued so I know when to join in on the laughter. He manages to tell me in the first five minutes that he was on Win Ben Stein’s Money and won. I forgive the fact that he gave up this info without being prompted, and give him points for being on a cool game show and winning. He then goes on to say that he is really square when it comes to music, but “that Nirvana was really good.” I wait for him to laugh, but he doesn’t, so I solemnly agree. He then went on to say that guy from Nirvana’s wife was good in the Larry Flint movie, though he’s never heard her music. THE MAN DOESN’T KNOW COURTNEY LOVE’S NAME?! Ok, he gets points for that too. Otherwise, he is from another planet and we have nothing in common (the man is 13 years older than me, so I wasn’t expecting to be able to dish out the latest installment of Rich Girls with him, but his pop-culture knowledge is completely nil. I fail to mention the blog). It comes time to order, and he suggests we split a burger and salad. Guys: don’t do this on a first date. It comes off cheap, even if the girl isn’t a gold-digger. I wasn’t planning on letting him pay for me, but when he pulled that, I figured I could let him pick up this one.
Basically, it’s a painful hour, and I’m hoping we end it with a handshake and come to terms that this isn’t a love connection. He then asks for my cell phone number, so I give it (I’m a glutton for punishment). He then calls it right in front of me to check that I didn’t give him a fake. That scares me just a little bit, and I lie that I’m going away for the weekend and run for my office. It takes him twenty minutes to e-mail to say he had a great time and when can we do it again (note: he also includes a picture of his POODLE Greta). Ugh. Anyone with suggestions with how to put an end to this without being mean or hurting anyone’s feelings, please e-mail me.

I’m hoping this day can only get better. I’m going to see Broken Social Scene at Amoeba at 7pm for an in-store, and then Midnight Movies at Spaceland for the last night of their residency. Please, if you see me out, don’t let me talk to strangers