Tuesday, April 13, 2004

An Open Letter to the Producers of I Want a Famous Face:

Dear Producers of I Want a Famous Face:

Hey there. What’s up? Nothing much here. I’m just writing because I have been watching your show a lot lately. Did you know that MTV plays each episode 5 times a day? That’s 2 ½ hours of the same surgery every day. Considering I watch MTV seven days a week, that is… well… a lot of seeing the insides of strangers. But who I am kidding? They’re not strangers anymore. Jessica? The transsexual who wants to look like J. Lo? I feel like I know her/him for years. Mia? The Britney look alike who just needed some fake breasts to complete the look? She knew exactly what she was doing by forgoing a career in marketing. I mean, Britney’s here to stay, while marketing is definitely a flash-in-the-pan kind of job. And who can forget Sha, the Pam Andersen want-to-be? Soon enough, Pam won’t even look like Pam because she’s getting up there in age so Sha can swoop in and take her place. That’s one smart naked model.

So I’ve been thinking… maybe I want a famous face. I didn’t even realize it until I after repeated viewings. In fact, I don’t want a famous face… I need a famous face. But who? I’ve thought about musicians and actors who recently have had an impact in my life and came up with an obviously answer. I want to be zombie #30542 from Dawn of the Dead. Zombies are timeless, and I hear they are going to be really in for spring. And I’m tired on having my insides on the inside, you know?

Ok, thank you Producers from MTV’s I Want a Famous Face for your time. I hope to hear from you soon regarding my up-coming episode.

Hugs and Kisses,
Kerry