Thursday, May 06, 2004

At the Movies ©

Opening this Week
Van Helsing: Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale star in this ultimate good vs. evil showdown. Dracula, Wolf Man, and Frankenstein star. Hhhmm… sounds really similar to the 1980’s hit The Monster Squad. Remember that one? “Wolfman’s got nards!” I think I’ll just watch that instead on VHS.

New York Minute: So much has already been said, I’m feeling less than ambitious to even throw my hand into that game. How soon until they run out of stories starring twins? I doubt a twin romp will ever been nominated for an academy award, and these girls must someday want some real roles to sink their teeth into, no? So my next question is, which one will become the has-been, and which one will attempt to become Jodie Foster? My money is on Mary Ashley. I mean, Ashley Kate. Oh, I don’t know… the red headed one!

Seeing Other People: Simpson’s writer and friend-of-Wes Anderson, Wallace Wolodarsky directs this film about last flings before marriage. Appearances by Andy Richter (yes!), Liz Phair (yes!), Helen “The Legend of Billy Jean” Slater (yes!), and Jonathan Davis from Korn (y…wait, what?! NO!)

Top of the Box (office)
Mean Girls: Can’t wait for the sequel: “Caddy, Petty, Yet Nice-to-Your-Face Women.”

Man on Fire: Please let Dakota Fanning go through less of an awkward phase than Haley Joel Osment.

13 Going on 30: I love chick flicks almost as much as I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. This one I may love more.

Godsend: DeNiro losing his mojo? Just hurry up and put out Meet the Fockers and redeem yourself.

Laws of Attraction: I bet this romantic comedy would have been a hit if it stared Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. People love that pairing. Just ask my Dad. I’ve never seen a grown man watch You’ve Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle more often than him.