Wednesday, June 02, 2004

I drank enough coffee this morning to kill a small mule.

Former Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil (above) is subjecting himself to a trainer, plastic surgeon and lifestyle counselor for MTV's "The Remaking of Vince Neil," which will also offer the 43-year-old rocker a chance to work with a top producer and a recording artist to relaunch his career. Considering Vince should go for more of a contemporary and “in” look, I’ve decided that Mr. Neil should be made over into a Carlos Dengler look-a-like. Make him lose about a hundred pounds, cut his hair and die it black, then put in him a suit. Can someone make that happen please?

The Lakers are going to beat the Pistons. It’s as simple as that. If the Pistons do win though, I will send the Detroit boys a basket of various LA type things that will include a Star Map, sunglasses, a gift certificate to In and Out, and your own fake Oscar. If I win, you guys better think of something better than car parts and Kid Rock memorabilia.

Paul McCartney discusses his drug use, which included heroin and cocaine. A Beatle doing drugs… who decided this kind of thing was newsworthy? Next thing they are going to tell us is that The Rolling Stones liked groupies.

The 77th Scripps National Spelling Bee has begun, with a 12-year-old girl spelling “laloplegia,"—the word meaning paralysis of the muscles involved in speech—correctly. In related news, I feel dumber than usual.

Kwame gets fired. Again. He was hired as a judge for Trump’s annual Miss Universe pageant being held this year in Quito, Ecuador. The offense? He was caught waving at several wannabe beauty queens in his hotel lobby, a no-no that is against pageant rules. Think Trump secretly hates Harvard Business School graduates?

I dreamt last night I was picked for the Real World/Road Rules Inferno, even though I had never been a cast member on either show. Here’s concept to get the Real World back to a seemingly real cast: everyone on the show is a blogger. Arguments consist of people fighting over computer time. You’ve got conflict, filled with snappy come backs. Sounds like a winner to me.